Thursday, January 17, 2008

Kung Fu Hustle

Ouch!

I bet this is the last time this cholo ever messes with a white boy who knows kung fu:

What goes around, comes around.

Reminder notice

The three of you who won this last “Guess The Song” contest need to send me a mailing address as soon as you can.

You may now return to your particular slice of reality.

I’m Lost After Watching Lost

What the hell!?

I finally finished season three of Lost on DVD and I’m more mad than ever.

If you’re easily agitated by “spoilers,” then go to MCNBC and find a few Sodoku puzzles to work on, because I’m about to sing like a canary.

The premise of the show Lost is that a group of people on a plane crash on an island with some mysterious inhabitants. If you want to know more about the show and where I’m about to go with this, go to Wikipedia’s Lost page and do some reading.

I can’t believe that I’m the only person in the world that’s about to ask this question, but I guess I am - why hasn’t anyone in the group of 50+ people tried to kill the infamous leader of the Others, the man, the myth, and the legend himself, Ben? This guy has been alone and on his own more times than I can count, including during the last episode of season three, but no one kills him. Here is the guy that will not let anyone leave the island, and everyone lets him live because he’s crafty with words.

Second, why is the Dharma Initiative still sending food and all sorts of stuff to the island when the original inhabitants, now led by Ben, took over Dharma and killed everyone with a few dozen cans of chem weapons? Am I missing something here? Did the others take a plane back from the island and take over the entire Dharma Initiative wherever they are located and start running the show?

And speaking of which, if they are this all-knowing and all-powerful shadow organization, then how come their plans are always ruined by a few meddling… oh wait… I mean a few stranded people from a flight that never made it home?

Let’s talk about Locke for a second. Time after time Locke has successfully blown-up something that the group needs in order to go home. He blew up the hatch, he blew up the radio station, he blew up the submarine, and he tossed a knife in the back of the chick who had the satellite phone. But low and behold, everyone just say’s “Hey Locke, good to see you, want some mango?” when the dust settles. Considering that the group is stuck on a so-called magical island that no one knows about in the middle of nowhere, I don’t think the LAPD is going to come running when Locke ends up with a two-foot piece of bamboo sticking out of the back of his head.

Finally, why is Jack all bent out of shape about whatever happened on the island? He’s back home in Los Angeles, Kate is somewhere near, but he’s all bitter and emo’d out with a trashy beard and some dirty clothes.

I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it at that for now. Lost sucks. JJ Abrams, you can kiss my ass. You have no idea where you are going with this story, and you’re making it up you go along. Admit it, build a bridge, and get over it homeboy.