Wednesday, July 01, 2009

An Open Letter to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

May It Please Your Majesty

Please allow me to offer my humblest apologies for the buffoon that is currently representing what used to be your closest ally, and extend the sentiment that we in the US still love Great Britain, and all that she represents - a history of fair dealings and “Special Relationships” dating back more than a century.

We may have had our little disagreements over the decades before that, and there may be minor issues about which we may still bicker from time-to-time (like any normal family members will), but we will be there to save you from your own excesses once again, no matter the cost. (Seriously, Sharia courts? What were you thinking?)

But we request that just let these minor things go for the time being until we can get someone in that office who knows what the hell… er, um, “heck” (sorry, Ma’am), he is doing (or at least can hire a protocol officer who knows his soup spoon from his steak knife), and we will go back to being the bestest of friends once again, you and we against the entire world, if need be. (Oh, and don’t forget Australia - they are the nicest people, and they are always up for a good scrap in the right cause.)

You saw us through the wreck of a Presidency that was James Earl Carter a few decades back, and you remember who followed (may his memory be blessed) to clean up Carter’s many, many messes. I think that the pendulum of history will once again lop off such extreme idiocy before the Current Resident of the White House does too much damage (I hope so, at any rate) and that we can once again turn to keeping the world from blowing itself up.

Sincerest best wishes to Your Majesty and Your Family.

I remain,

An American citizen